woah, new post in forevers..anyone still follow this thing?

Hey all, long time no see/post...again. Just an update on the life of me recently...In a nut shell I'm teaching up a storm, doing shows independently and with the company, and trying to have some semblance of a relationship with Mr.Firespinner.. That last part is probably the hardest. We don't see each other during the week very much, I try and meet him for lunch a few times a week, but its getting really expensive. We have a blast together, it's just when we're apart I start to think about the things that grind my gears, namely the fact that I've done most of the sacrificing of time and some expectations regarding one's partner's behaviour and I feel he hasn't ever really met me halfway on an important issue. His health is a big one, he's been given a prescription for a condition that's ongoing and could bite him in the ass unexpectedly which he refuses to take due to the admittedly scary side effects. Fine, no problem, but when he does nothing to change his lifestyle, the beer, smoking, and drugs which really could make things worse, it sort of seems...selfish. Recently he stated that he didn't want to attend my family's christmas. Not because he had other plans or family of his own to visit...he just didn't want to. Selfish again. I don't like this trend. I don't like feeling like a doormat that has to concede to his way or the highway. I don't know what to do..Bring this up now before the holidays and make our trip on new years awkward or leave it for now assuming things work out...Ideas?

hmmm

So I recently got a ticket to Burning Man festival, the big one that happens in the nevada desert. Sounds good on paper; lots to hang from, crazy costumes, good music..did I mention there's lots t hang from? Since buying said ticket I've gone to a couple 'burner' events, stuff designed to get people in the mood for the festival itself. There's lots of the same stuff as the festival itself..which is the problem. I just can't handle 1) the hours these people keep. They're all insomniacs or something. You all know I need at least 8 hours a day and that I shut down at 2am, no questions asked. These shindigs don't even start until 11 and go well past 4. I'm really unsure if I could handle that schedule for more than a day ot two, and at that point, it's getting a bit expensive for 2 days in the desert with hippies.

2) the hippies themselves. It all comes back to the lesse faire attitude toward drugs and the like, which would be fine if their drug using didn't then affect me. Allow me to explain, this realy has to do with those closest to me, namely Dave, who tonight, the night after an eventful day where we all finally signed the paperwork on a sweet loft space in the Junction (more on that later) and just when his crazy stressful living situation is coming to a close, he decided to stay at the party to get even more f-ed up than he already was (he does indulge at larger shindigs..) and I came home in a cab. Alone. To my brother's place and now I'm typing this at 3 30 am while he's doing god knows what. We're both so horrifyingly busy, I haven't seen him all week, so this hurts a bit; that he would choose the chance to 'party' over what could have been a very cool post-party night just the two of us.

Really? These are the so-called 'enlightened' population of up and coming artists and dreamers who find inspiration in community and self-sacrifice and service to your fellow men? From all the vomit and passed out people it looks to me like the whole community is just a bunch of 30-year olds trying to pretend they're 19 again.

So..I'm thinking of selling my ticket. The effort to get there, the cost involved, the fact that I have 1, potentially 2 shows that same week, and that it's fan expo too all seem to tell me that it would be wiser to not go. I don't know, maybe I'm just really pissed that my brand new pvc corset had juice and vodka dumped on it by me supposed friend when I was leaving. I know he did it on purpose, too, and he and others around thought it was hi-larious due to the fact that said corset and my new pair of FLUEVOGS!! are now covered in sticky. Maybe if this guy could stay sober for once in his life he would learn that dumping your drinks down friends' back is not nice.

So fine, get fucked up. Just don't ask me to enjoy or condone it. And don't dump your drink on my shoes.